Wondering If You Can Be Friends With Your Ex? Ask Yourself These Questions

Heartbreaks can be brutal. Once a relationship ends, you will find yourself in zero contact with the person with whom you shared every single detail of your day. From meeting your partner almost regularly to not meeting each other at all is the ultimate setback that the ending of a relationship leaves you with. And, even though it is extremely difficult to cope with such a loss, more often than not there are chances that you would consider staying friends with an ex. 

With the several television shows and other media content making the friends with ex trope seem doable, the question still remains as to how healthy such a friendship actually is. Look at actors Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone for example. The duo has worked in many films together post their break up and remain friends to date. Another prominent example from Bollywood happens to be actor Hrithik Roshan and designer ex-wife Sussanne Khan. The duo separated amicably, and over the years, have been co-parenting their kids.

With so many inputs and perspectives being available across the internet now, and the several new forms of relationships emerging, to be friends with your ex in this day and age can often feel like the ultimate sign of maturity. But it is still important to consider whether such a relationship works for you. Pivoting from a romantic relationship to that of a platonic one is not something that is impossible, but to have a healthy friendship with your ex, you first need to do some significant self introspection. 

In order to decide whether becoming friends with an ex is actually a good decision and would mutually benefit you in the long run, without causing any detrimental effects on your mental health and wellbeing is very important. So, here’s for you to dig into your mind and feelings a little and answer some questions for yourself which would make the decision of being friends after a break up with your ex a little easier to arrive at.

It's time for some self introspection with these questions if you are wondering whether to stay friends with your ex or not

Understand why you want to be friends with your ex

The very basic and practical question to consider while deciding whether to be friends with your ex is to firstly understand why you would want such a situation. If it is because of reasons to be on cordial terms with your partner, or for other practical considerations such as co-parenting and so on, then a healthy friendship with your ex can be a feasible option.

You might also feel that your relationship with your ex was better when you both had started off as friends, and have space for mutual respect for each other. However, on the other hand, if there are any chances that your decision of being friends with your ex is rooted in emotional dependency, then you might need to rethink.

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Understand whether you are in a healthy mental space to be friends with your ex

When you are reaching out to your ex for a healthy friendship, it is very important to first self introspect your own mental space and wellbeing. If you are even in the slightest doubt, where you are still finding it difficult to cope with the breakup, then reaching out to your ex might not be a good option to consider. It is also important that you keep in mind that being friends after a break up may in fact make it a lot harder for you to get over your ex.

How long has it been since you have broken up?

Although there isn't a stipulated time to get over a heartbreak, it is important that you give yourself enough time to move on. In this context, it is important to understand that catching up with your ex just weeks after your breakup might not be a very good idea to indulge in. It is important to take time, and let yourself move on from a person at your own pace. So, until and unless you are sure that the raw emotions associated with the breakup are completely gone, to be friends with an ex might not be a good decision to work on.

Are you still hurting after the break-up?

Whether you are still hurting or hold resentment while recalling your previous relationship is an important aspect to consider while working on the decision to become friends with an ex. Ask yourself whether it is the nostalgia that is making you consider the decision of being friends with an ex or this is the post breakup remedy you are seeking?

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Is the decision mutual?

It is very important to clearly communicate before you decide to be friends with your ex. It might just be that only one of you is keen on being friends, while the other person is still reluctant. It is very important that there are mutual efforts and interests when it comes to developing a healthy friendship. So, make sure to have each other’s consent and clearly communicate, while also establishing healthy boundaries when it comes to being friends with your ex.

Disclaimer: The details mentioned throughout this blog are sourced from publicly accessible platforms. At Zeezest, we intend to share factual and verified information. Should there be any inconsistencies or variances in the information provided, please understand that these are entirely unintentional and not meant to mislead.