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It is true when they say that you don’t just marry your partner; you marry their family too! Especially in India, when the concept of family is just as important as your relationship, drawing a boundary with your in-laws can be tricky. If you, like us, are still struggling with how to maintain good relationships with in-laws, then you have landed at the right place! With the festive season arriving, and as the whole family comes together to celebrate together, it is helpful to know how to maintain and build family relations that last! Let’s go over some important ways on how to maintain good relationship with in-laws:
Address your issues
One of the easiest solutions to how to maintain good relationships with in-laws is to talk frankly with them! Our reactions to problems with our in-laws are often influenced by our "past history." Other women may be overly protective of their mothers because of the strong bond they had, while other men may have anxiety around their in-laws' fathers since their own fathers were so judgemental. Interactions between in-laws may also be influenced by cultural norms and personal experiences. If couples want to know why things happen the way they do, they need to talk to each other about it. By doing so, you will be less likely to respond emotionally or get mired in a negative cycle.
Cut down on interactions with negative in-laws
If you are thinking about how to maintain family relationships in a space that does not respect you, it is time to reduce your interactions! Spending a fair bit of time with in-laws is something we strive for most of the time since we value family bonds. But for some married couples, in-laws may be a source of stress and even an attempt to end the marriage. It may be quite challenging for everyone involved if this occurs. Give serious consideration to your priorities. Although your ancestral families are important, you probably did not want a divorce as a result.
Openly and by your actions, express your love for one other and the importance of your marriage to your in-laws. Spending less time with unsupportive in-laws could be essential in some situations. Even while being in an in-law relationship isn't always easy, it can be quite rewarding if done well. Love binds you all together, and it might be good to remember that. It can also help to laugh at and be astonished by the strange powers that pull families together.
Establish boundaries
Boundaries with your in-laws should be established without delay. It is essential for maintaining a positive connection with everyone. Your marriage and your relationship with your in-laws may be safeguarded by establishing clear limits. Relationships benefit from this. If you want your in-laws to respect your limits and not go over them unintentionally, it's necessary to communicate them to them.
Open communication
It is crucial for any relationship to have open communication. Being able to communicate your emotions and allow your in-laws to do the same might go a long way towards preventing arguments. You should be able to sit down and tell them how you feel if your limits let it. Keeping them in the dark about what's happening will prevent them from experiencing the same pain again and again. Communicating with dignity, respect, and trust may go a long way. Keeping in touch with your in-laws on a regular basis is as crucial as maintaining contact with your own parents. If you've nailed down the preceding items, your relationship will be ready to manage the difficult talks when they arise. Those personal and/or difficult talks may never take place or may become nasty if any of these values—respect, trust, or honour—are violated.
Watch out for criticism
When comparing hearing criticisms of one's parents from one's spouse to making such remarks about one's own parents, the same logic usually applies. If your spouse sometimes makes comments about your in-laws' driving or nasty attitude, it could be tempting to rant about them. Remember to communicate with your spouse in a constructive and nondefensive manner, without being critical, disrespectful, defensive, or stonewalling, if there is a genuine issue that has to be addressed.