From Cart To Compulsion: Why We Buy What We Don’t Need

We have all been there, the sudden, magnetic pull towards the ‘buy now’ button or a shimmering storefront. It all starts as a tiny spark of excitement, a quick fix for a stressful day, but lately, I have been wondering, why does the high of the purchase vanish right before we even get the bags inside? It is time we look past the tissue paper and the thrill of the hunt. Here’s to peeling back the layers of that restless, compulsive urge to buy and talk about what our closets are really trying to tell us. 

What is compulsive shopping? 

Compulsive shopping or oniomania is often called Compulsive Buying Disorder (CBD), and it is more than just a love for sales or occasional retail therapy. Rather, it is a kind of behavioural addiction that is marked by addictive shopping and characterised by an irresistible repetitive urge to purchase items, regardless of whether you need them or can afford them. 

For many of us, this kind of a shopaholic behaviour becomes a way to self medicate, which in turn makes for a temporary escape from stress, anxiety, or low self esteem. 

Compulsive shopping vs impulsive shopping

While we often use these terms interchangeably, there is a significant difference between compulsive shopping and impulsive shopping. Think of impulsive buying as a sudden, external spark when you see a gorgeous jacket in a window or a flash sale online, and you grab it on a whim because the item itself seems to be calling to you. 

Compulsive shopping or oniomania, on the other hand, is driven from inside out. It is less about the object and more about the ritual of the chase to escape a heavy mood or a sense of emptiness. While an impulse to buy is a spontaneous detour, a compulsive urge feels like a pre-planned mission to find a temporary high that numbs whatever is hurting us, often leaving a trail of guilt surrounding the shopaholic behaviour once the registers stop ringing. 

Signs and symptoms of compulsive shopping 

Recognising the signs of compulsive or addictive shopping isn't about counting receipts. Rather, it is about noticing the quiet shifts in our heart rate and the secrets we start to keep. Shopaholic behaviour often starts when the shopping bags become a hiding place for our feelings.

If you have ever felt a wave of panic when a partner looks at your credit card statement, or if you have a secret stash of clothes with the tags still on, you know exactly what I mean. It is a heavy feeling when the thrill of the find is instantly replaced by a crushing weight of regret. 

Spot the red flags 

Identifying the symptoms isn't about judgement, it is about gaining the awareness needed to reclaim your peace of mind. 

1. The emotional high and low- You feel a rush of euphoria while shopping, almost like a drug, immediately followed by a spending hangover that is characterised by a guilt of depression.
2. The secret life of bags- You find yourself hiding purchases in the trunk of the car, lying about how much something costs, or quickly tucking packages away before anyone else gets home.
3. Buying for the sake of buying- You realise you are purchasing things you don't need, won't use, or sometimes don't even like, just to keep the transaction going.
4. The financial fog- You have started juggling credit cards, or ignoring your bank balance because looking at the numbers feels too overwhelming.
5. Relationship friction- Your shopping habits have become a third wheel in your life, causing arguments with loved ones or making you withdraw from social plans to browse online instead.

Causes of compulsive shopping 

When we talk about what causes the urge to buy, we have to look past the surface of the ‘sale’ sign. For many of us, the roots of addictive shopping are tucked away in the parts of our lives we don't always want to face. Shopaholic behaviour makes for a momentary escape, a boost in confidence, or a way to fill a quiet, aching void. Understanding the why is the first step towards reclaiming control, as it helps us realise that this isn't a failure of willpower, but a complex intersection of our emotions. 

The why behind the buy 

The causes of compulsive shopping are often a perfect storm of internal and external factors.

1. Emotional regulation- This is the big one. We use shopping to self medicate. Whether it's anxiety, loneliness, or depression, the checkout counter provides a temporary high that numbs emotional pain.
2. The dopamine rush- Biologically, our brains are wired for reward. The mere anticipation of purchase floods our system with dopamine.
3. The fantasy self and low self esteem- We often buy for the person we want to be, the one who is more successful, more attractive, or more together. We are essentially trying to purchase a new identity because we don't feel enough as we are.
4. The cultural magnet- We live in a world that whispers that happiness is just one purchase away.

Your toolkit for change

Healing our relationship with the ‘Buy Now’ button isn't about overnight perfection, but about creating a little breathing room between the urge and the action. 

1. The 48 hour rule- Give yourself a mandatory cooling off period. If you still need it in two days, the urge is likely less of a compulsion and more of a choice.
2. Identify your hunger- Before tapping your card, ask yourself what it is that you are actually hungry for.
3. Unsubscribe and unfollow- Guard your digital space. Mute the brands and influencers that make you feel less than or trigger your impulse.
4. Find your non-spend high- Replace the dopamine of shopping with something that actually fills your cup, like a walk, a creative hobby, or a good book!